Dry texting, measured

Dry texting is the feeling that you're talking to a wall that occasionally says "haha". Short replies, no questions back, no follow-ups, the conversation dying every time you stop pushing it. It's the most common complaint in the talking stage and the hardest to argue with, because each dry reply on its own is nothing.

A definition you can count

We call a message dry when it's three words or fewer, contains no question, and has no emoji. "ok", "yeah", "lol busy", "will see". Then we take the share: dry messages divided by all their messages, per week. Most people sit between 10% and 25% in a healthy chat. It's the change that matters, not the level.

Normal dry versus pulling-away dry

• Normal: their dry share is steady, they still ask you questions, and they still open conversations. Some people just text like that. Look at what they do, not how many words they use.
• Busy: a dry week or two, then it recovers. Usually lines up with something in their life.
• Pulling away: the share climbs and stays up, the questions stop, and reply times stretch in the same weeks. Three things moving together is a pattern, not a mood.

The mirror

Run the same number on yourself. A surprising amount of dry texting is symmetrical: they got dry after you did, or you both drifted at the same time. Knowing which one it is changes what you do next.

What to do about it

Not "communicate more". If the numbers say they went dry in a specific week, ask one direct question about that week and don't soften it. If they say you both drifted, decide whether you want to restart it. If they say it's steady and you're overthinking, put the phone down.